Infinite Hells
by Yourfellowwriter
Summary: A collection of (very loosely) connected one-shots. Chapter 3 - My very first attempts
1. Mikoto Misaka

**Infinite Hells**

I've been suffering from horrible writers block mixed with insane laziness. To the point where the only work I seem to write these days are one-shots that sit uselessly on my phones notepad. This'll be where my Raildex stories go. I'm going to be using the Infinite Hells to loosely tie them together. None of them directly tie to each other, it's just a convenient frame work to group them together with. Also it allows me to make changes to how certain characters treat Kamijou without having to consider any inconsistencies and mistakes. Don't expect too much though, most will or have been written at 3-4am. (Chapter Titles indicate whose perspective the work is written in)

Mikoto Misaka

"Is it true? What she said?"

Her voice wavered slightly, eyes fixed on his stiff back. He'd frozen the moment she'd spoken, the moment she'd revealed what had just been told to her by that strange Sister.

She'd not wanted to believe so she'd sought him out immediately, to get answers. She'd found him staring at nothing on a bench in District 7.

Their usual park.

That thought would've brought a blush at any other time but not today, not with what brought her here.

She watched in muted despair as he slumped, despair that grew as he blew out an exhausted breath unlike the ones she usually heard from him. It wasn't his usual exhaustion, it was bone deep, soul deep, deeper even than that.

The pain it held, so much of it that tore her heart to shreds just hearing it.

She wondered why he hadn't tried to deny it, wondered why he didn't bother with his normal facade of placating her worries so she didn't have to bear the weight he did.

He rose slowly, back still to her but he stood as tall as ever, as strong as ever.

"It is"

That was all he said, all he said as he destroyed her entire world.

She'd dogged his steps for so long, desperately clawed her way towards that stage he stood on. She loved him, wanted to be with him, there for him, stand beside him.

But his stage was for demons, there was no place for her where he was going and there never would be.

Touma Kamijou, he'd saved her life so many times, saved her Sisters, saved her friends, he always made her smile even when he drove her to distraction. He was the kindest person she knew.

He was also a demon.

Not literally, of course, but he may as well be. All that strength of his, the way his words did more damage than his fists, how he could turn people from the darkness with almost casual ease the moment he truly sets his mind to it. People like Accelerator, monsters in human skin that no one else could hope to defeat, that idiot may have knocked him out in combat but he'd defeated him with words. Turned a monster into just another human. She wondered briefly how many other monsters were now just humans because of him. If he ever turned his talents to the darkness he could crush the light with ease.

He was an utter demon, but kinder than any human. He waved it off as selfishness on his part, and maybe it was, but she couldn't see it as anything other than kind. He didn't care about societies views, that of science or religion, he saw something he deemed unacceptable and fought against it until his body was broken and then fought further. Humans care about those things, no matter how much one tries to deny it. They have their little cliques, their own little corners of society. Touma didn't, he didn't care about the greater good, he cared about the smallest wrongs. Greater good was just a fancy way of saying lesser evil, and he'd not stand for any of that. A single life was too high a price for anything, and he didn't care who stood in his way of protecting that single life. Even the faction that followed him, he'd fight them too if they ever got in his way of saving that single life. He'd hate it, fighting his friends, but he'd do it. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. He'd try to talk it out, convince them to step aside or help him, but if push came then he'd fight.

It was stupid, but beautiful in its own way. That self-destructive boy who had once upon a time stood against her for nothing more than wanting to stop her from throwing away her own life. She hadn't believed there to be another way, but he'd proved her wrong. All she'd ever had to do was ask for help. She'd barely known him back then but she'd known his power, known his nature to assist those he thought in trouble. Even in a city where a great number of people had literal superpowers, all he'd ever seen was people who might need a helping hand.

A hand he'd always offered. She'd experienced it when they first met, seen it often when she had followed him around discreetly to look for weaknesses she could exploit in their next spar.

All she'd needed to do was trust someone to help. She was glad it ended up being him.

But demons are still demons, and he'd just proved it.

Because only a demon could shatter the illusion of a broken hearted girl who'd just learnt the entire world was a fake meant to make him suffer, to show him that even if he did everything perfectly it'll all be worthless in the end... To make him break.

Tears slipped from her eyes, anger unable to burn because of the torrent cascading down her cheeks.

"S-so none of this... m-me?"

He turned slightly, sadness in his eyes she never wanted to see.

"No" he stated firmly "No, even if this is just a world Othinus made, it's real. You're real!"

It didn't bring her comfort, only more despair. She chuckled brokenly, collapsing to her knees.

"But the outcome doesn't change does it?"

She whispered, eyes gazing blearily at her hands as they curled into the dirt. A lump in her throat she forced herself to speak around.

"In the end, no matter what the outcome, we'll all disappear and you'll just keep going. Right?"

She could see how much it hurt him when she looked up to gauge his reaction. She'd never wondered what expression someone would make when being literally pulled apart on a sub-atomic level but she imagined that's what Touma's expression resembled.

"I'll keep going"

Admitting it aloud seemed like the hardest thing she'd ever seen him do but despite all that pain he was feeling, the weight of a choice where every option ends with the destruction of a world, he shed no tears. She feared for herself, for her friends and family but most of all, she was scared for him. How many worlds had he suffered through? How many had he lost? How many more losses were to come?Touma Kamijou had once seemed like a stupid, stubborn pillar propping up the world, but it was more than just one now. An entire collection of worlds he'd tried to prop up only to drop them time and time again. This Othinus person wanted him to break, but the truth was obvious to Mikoto. He already had, just not in the way that so named God wanted. So where did that leave her?

Terrified, horrified, with a heart in her chest that had shattered and the pieces could barely even be called dust. Her mind was filled with a single image. An endless, chasmic void of black, just Touma walking ever onwards alone.

"That's- that's too sad!.. I don't want that for you..."

The words slipped out without her meaning too but she didn't do anything to take them back. She watched him smile gently and move to stand before her, resting a hand on her head, brushing his fingers gently through her hair. The contact filled with affection.

"I know" he whispered kindly "but I can't stop"

She tried to nod but failed, instead just enjoying the contact and his attention as much as she possibly could.

"I don't want you to go"

He knelt down in front of her, hand still threading through her hair

"I know"

She leant forwards, small hands gripping his shirt and resting her forehead against his chest. Even though she said that, she had no intention of stopping him. She'd see him off with as much of as smile as she could, with all the trust she had. That was what a good women would do, what the type of woman she wanted to be would do.

"They better be thankful. The ones you're going back to. They better not take you for granted or hurt you or anything! Because I'll never forgive them if they do!"

She pulled him closer, taking the steps she'd been to embarrassed and afraid to take with him before. He wasn't hers, he never had been and he never would be but she'd be damned if she couldn't do at least this before it all inevitably came crashing around her.

"Your me, I'm giving up a lot for her so she better feel the same as I do"

She looked up, something like shyness and fierceness battling it out in her expression. He looked cute with that confusion on his face, but before he could say anything she darted up and kissed his cheek as close to the corners of his lips her maidens heart would let her. He blushed slightly and her face had long lit up red. She buried herself back in his chest, feeling the muscles in his neck flex as he flapped his jaw. From the corner of her vision she saw his eyes sadden more but he smiled down at her with more care than ever and it made her heart race and ache simultaneously.

"I don't think she does, but I'm glad you do"

She smiled, a tiny smile tinged with melancholy and longing. She focused more as he continued

"This phase, you've been by my side a lot, haven't you? I'd forgotten what it was like to truly smile for a bit there. You really are special Mikoto"

He'd never used her first name before, always nicknames or her family name. The girly love-struck part of her wanted to squeal but the rest of her knew why he'd done it.

It wasn't that he was returning her feelings, because this would be the worst time to tell her one way or the other, but what he was doing eased her soul a bit either way. He was letting her know he'd never once thought her as his Misaka or as some copy meant only to break him. He saw her as her own person, the same as but at the same time entirely different to the one of his world. Distinct from all the other Mikoto Misaka's he must have met. He was letting her know he was thankful for her existence, her friendship and love. That he'd never forget that she'd once been there.

Even though her world was coming to an end with no way to stop it, she was happy that he'd remember her, not just Mikoto Misaka but the specific Mikoto Misaka that she was.

"You should go"

She whispered after a few quiet minutes in his embrace. She didn't want it to end but all things had to eventually. He nodded but stayed quiet, arms tightening around her for a few seconds. It was almost, almost, strong enough to hurt but filled her with warmth.

He didn't say anything as he turned to leave, but she did.

"I won't forget you either Touma!"

He didn't look back, he didn't pause, he just kept walking away. She knew he'd heard, knew she'd eased his burden just a little bit and she knew that her words had made him happy. Even if he died and was restored again, the world resetting with it, even if she disappeared at least he knew she'd keep her word.

She scowled at the ground when he was out of sight, heart heavy.

"I don't know what he did for you, whether it was the same as what he did for me, all I know is that you better love him Mikoto Misaka. You better love him, because I do and I can't stand thinking of someone else by his side other than me. So even though I can't, if it's a me then at least I can grudgingly accept it. I... Damn it, I hate this... I wanted it to be this me..."

she scooted backwards to lean against the tree behind her, refusing to summon the energy to get on her feet. Her scowl fell away in to melancholy, idly reaching for her phone.

"I bet his me isn't as cute, she's probably really stupid, constantly flashes her underwear like a weirdo and is friends with that damn Shokkahou... Urgh, who am I even kidding? She's proubably exactly like me... please be exactly like me"

She spent the final hours of her world alone, watching the day progress, all the while thinking of a future she would never have. She wanted to call her friends, her family but she'd prefer to let them live the last moments of their lives without worry and calling them up out of the blue feeling like this would only worry them. She sent off a few messages asking about their days but otherwise didn't respond much. Instead she pictured that non-existent future and the future of a girl who was exactly like her but wasn't her at the same time.

"She better reach that stage... For all the Mikoto's who never got the chance to even try"

She never noticed when the world ended and reformed, nobody but the Magic God Othinus and Touma Kamijou did. One smirking cruelly at a dying blood-soaked boy and the other glaring up at a scantily clad monster he'd defeat even if it took him a million more worlds.

"In this world, or the next" the blonde magic god enunciated like a patient teacher. "It matters not" It lasted only a brief moment before she smashed her foot onto the boys head, crushing it. It was with but a wave of her spear that everything began existing again, included the boy whose life she'd just ended.

"You'll break eventually"

'Time for something different.' The one-eyed witch thought in dark humour 'We've reached another mile stone after all, attempt number 3,900,000'


	2. Seiri Fukiyose

**Infinite Hells**

_Bluejack22 - I'm not sure if this'll be to your liking but I've had it sat around a while so I thought I'd post it. I've cleaned it up a bit so it's not such a mess but I'm not sure if it's enjoyable. Let me know, yeah?_

_UnkownSoul - As long as that tear was because you enjoyed it then I'm glad to hear that! If not then, well, sorry? Haha! I hope this chapter tugs the heart strings too, but as I stated in the AN last chapter all these stories tend to be written at ungodly hours so who knows how good they'll be._

_Healthcare. Gov - I like your handle! Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. I tried to keep it as close to how I imagine Misaka's inner monologue would sound. Despite her intelligence I don't think she'd use needlessly complicated language unless she was deliberately rubbing her smarts in someone's face. Hopefully that came across, ya get me? _

**_Chapter 2 - Seiri Fukiyose _**

Seiri Fukiyose had never been fond of Kamijou. She couldn't bring herself to hate him like everyone else though, such feelings just weren't in her. Now, anyway.

He was a terrible delinquent, always picking fights but while others rightfully despised him, she couldn't bring herself to, it was strange. She'd seen him attack that boy in the alley, seen a terrified girl run from it in floods of tears, but she just couldn't bring herself to hate him.

"Even if this world has turned against me" she'd heard him mutter that day "I won't stop reaching out my hand to help them. Even if it only brings me ridicule and scorn. I'll save them"

What made her lack of hatred all the odder was knowing that at one point, she definitely had. She'd seen how many people feared him, mostly weaker Espers and middle schoolers, and she'd heard of all the fights he started. She'd hated him the moment she put name to his face, then she'd heard him mutter, seen him attack that boy in the alley. He'd barely noticed her presence when he used his right-hand to gently push her aside. He just apologized and walked away, his shoulders broad an straight but his head hung.

It was like all that hatred just shattered, almost so literally she thought she'd actually heard it.

Kamijou vanished the next day, and in the wake of her turbulent thoughts and feelings she asked around.

She started with her friend Himegami, a girl that trembled in pure fear whenever she saw the spiky headed boy.

"What's so scary about him?" She'd asked. Despite her previous feelings for the boy, he'd never looked particularly strong and he was unequivocally a level 0. Why did he inspire such fear?

"There was a man. He wanted to use my Esper power to hurt others. K-Kamijou stopped him. That boys power, it's terrifying..."

Many other people's words were the same. Fukiyose didn't understand. He'd saved them, hadn't he? They never said it but their stories implied it! What should of been gratitude was fear, why? Sure, from the sounds of it the boy punched a whole lot of people in the face but... but he helped them didn't he?

So why did her mind still try to summon up hatred that her heart didn't feel? Why did she feel so compelled to alienate a boy who seemed to only take action to help. It made her head hurt, made her soul burn.

When he reappeared two weeks later looking more worn out than ever, she tried to follow him home. She wanted answers.

She never expected what she found. Somehow, some illogical way she found him on the floor of another alley, slumped against the wall. The growing pool of blood beneath him freezing her in place.

Her heart and mind furiously fought, one screaming at her to help and the other raging at her to just leave him to suffer. In the end she did neither, instead just watching as he looked sadly at the sky above him.

"You don't want to see this Fukiyose"

Her head snapped to his face, he spoke directly to her but paid no attention to anything but the Sky.

"Just go home"

She flinched. How badly she wanted to just that but her heart refused.

"W-why?"

He looked to her, his face smeared with blood from a cut on his forehead, his cheeks scruffier than usual with mud. His eyes were so filled with resignation, but there was a quiet determination in there too. Like even though he was clearly dying, he'd still keep going. He gave a small smile after searching her eyes carefully.

"You don't hate me, you don't fear me. She doesn't like that I guess. What's the point in turning the world against me if someone suddenly doesn't... This phase ended the moment you stopped... Probably wants my last sight to be the one person in the whole world who doesn't, thinks that'll make it break me. Seeing it's possible to change people but know I failed..."

Fukiyose swallowed, eyes flicking to his wound, the ever growing pool of blood while he was speaking. Mind going over whoever he was talking about, what the hell he was saying but more importantly_ why the hell wasn't she doing anything!?_

"The truth is..."

He continued weakly eyes beginning to droop closed, a pitiful smile on his pale face. She trembled

"If you kill someone enough times..."

She felt tears spring to her eyes, her heart screeching how wrong this was, how utterly foreign his expression looked. She didn't truly pay much attention to his words, just how honest he sounded and how broken he looked.

"They just... They just"

Her knees collapsed, she caught herself on her hands, staining them red in the process but all she could see was the broken smile on the boy's face.

His last words were barely a whisper, spoken out with the very same breath that was his last. His eyes suddenly directed over her shoulder and blazing with a strenght that hadn't been their a moment ago, even as they dulled with his last breath.

"They just _stop_ caring about their pain"

Fukiyose stayed frozen even as a scantily clad blonde walked up and kicked the boy's body. Even when the woman scoffed and spat at him, she couldn't find it in her to summon up anything for him. Her mind had silenced and her heart had crumbled, she felt nothing. She just stared into unseeing eyes and that broken expression.

"Stupid human. How many times has it been now? How often have you died like this?" The blonde asked the corpse, her tone complicated. Filled with emotions the empty shell that was Fukiyose couldn't comprehend.

"You've not broken, why haven't you? There's worse to come you know? I've been there, you know? Just give up... Just break already"

Fukiyose could almost call that tone begging, almost call it empathetic, understanding. Almost, but not quite.

Her world ended with a flash of white and a bellowing shout

"JUST BREAK ALREADY!"


	3. First-attempts

_These are the two ideas that inspired chapter 1. My new phone downloaded them from my long forgotten iCloud and I thought I'd publish them so you could see what I was working from. Even if it was have remembered sections of these. Plus the very first attempt at an Index FanFiction that I wrote and never did anything with._

**Version 1**

'I hate this'

That was the thought she had every time she saw a particular sight. She'd had it the first time and she'd had it this last time too. Yet, she knew, declaring it aloud wouldn't change anything. The sight of that back, that had always been in front of her but so far away her hands couldn't hope to reach it, that back taunted her. Always for the same reasons, to save, to help, to protect. That back that stood so straight and strong even when its owner was slouched, she hated that sight to her core. She didn't want to be behind it, nor did she want it to be her back that person was chasing after either. She wanted to be beside it, walking side by side and standing together against the world.

Above almost all else, Mikoto Misaka wanted to stand upon the same stage as Touma Kamijou.

She never again wanted to be left behind as he marched strongly away to save another smile, never again learn he'd gotten seriously hurt whilst she'd done nothing to help. It had become increasingly agonising to learn he'd been in hospital for near fatal injuries only after he'd been released, and she usually found out accidentally or from a third party. As her feelings for him grew it became ever more difficult to stand behind him and watch as he put his life on the line for strangers. Strangers who would never understand him, only see him as a hero or someone to admire, even someone to aspire to be like. They never seemed to look passed his stupid heroics and kindness to see the many other things he was, the things that truly made up the whole that was his idiotic self. They wouldn't try to stand at his side, they'd be content with just being near him, just deluding themselves into thinking that was all there was to him. They saw the hero who fought for smiles only, and not the everyday, normal high school boy he was.

Misaka couldn't accept such a thing, it wasn't right to her. To see him for just one tiny aspect of himself, it was wrong. He was a hero, yes, but he was also stubborn and stupid, he could be childish and was prone to nonsensical outbursts. He was kind, loyal, witty at times and insulting at others, he never grasped the atmosphere and he was dense. He got into stupid fights with his pervy and mysterious friends, he could be incredibly selfish about some things as well as self less to a fault about others. He rarely if ever bought frivolous things and complained far too often. He was a moron who didn't care enough about himself and couldn't ever keep his trap shut but Mikoto Misaka loved every aspect of him even when they irritated her.

She knew she didn't know everything about him yet, she knew she was missing so many pieces to the puzzle that he was. She knew he saw her as just some girl with a strong ability but not as someone to be worshipped as above him. She knew she disliked his lack of respect but she was truly grateful that all he saw was a completely normal girl. She knew even she wouldn't have been able to stop him from doing as he pleased, but she could stand next to him and help him through it all, just as he'd done for her countless times before. She could walk into battle with him and still come home to the peace they would've shared. He didn't need to be coddled by some worrywart, nor did he need someone who'd try to change him. He definitely didn't need someone that would try to fight all his battles for him. Nor did he need someone he would have to worry about all the time either, some damsel in distress who always needs him to rescue them would only serve to take away his smile one day. That was something she wouldn't allow.

His smile was already withering away slowly under that invisible weight on his shoulders. That weight that he refused to share with anyone.

'I hate this'

No matter how heavy it was, she would've helped him carry it. Even a tiny amount off his shoulders and onto her own would've sufficed. Even knowing how terrible that weight was, she'd have used her own strength gladly to assist him. She'd asked to help plenty of times but something always got in her way, usually because he'd laid that roadblock himself. Whether it was running away from her, sending her in the wrong direction or getting Kuroko to teleport her away, there was always an obstacle.

'I... I truly hate this'

Yet another obstacle lay before her now, a wall she could not climb, a wall her power could not smash through, a wall that had no other way around. This wall was laid by a god, one only that idiot and his strange power could tear down but she knew he wouldn't. He wouldn't tear down the wall that kept him seperate from her.

The Touma Kamijou in front of her, trudging slowly forwards towards his own fate, he didn't see Mikoto Misaka when he looked at her. Not really.

He saw a Misaka, that was certain, but it wasn't his Misaka.

'Is- is this how the Sisters feel? Is this the pain they feel when someone looks at them but only see's me?!'

She fell in love with him, she could admit it to herself now, in this situation she was in. He saved her and her sisters countless times. He made her angry, made her cry, made her laugh and smile, he broke through every one of her defences with staggering ease and never once did he take advantage of knowing a level 5 to increase his standing. But she'd known for so long that his eyes never saw her, she'd denied it for just as long, immensely so, and it was only that meeting with the Sister that called herself the "Will of the Misaka Network" that had opened her eyes.

She really wasn't his Mikoto, bitter a pill as that was to swallow, she wasn't unimportant to him but she wasn't the one he wanted to return to.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't this world he wanted to return to at all.

This was just another way that some horrible god was using to torture and break that boy she loved. A horrible god he was on his way to face and die against before it started all over and she'd cease to exist. To be replaced by another Mikoto Misaka who still wasn't his.

'I don't want him to go... b-but i'm not her, i'll-i'll never be that Mikoto. Will the next me have to feel like this too?! Will she have to watch as he leaves again!? I HATE THIS!'

But... there was nothing she could do, there really was no place for her on that battlefield. Only room for that cruel god and that stupid idiot. The stupid idiot who was the only one in the world who could stand against the being that had been tormenting all of them with these fake worlds without their knowledge, the stupid moronic idiot who'd already gone through so many, many hells that he was surely not far from being destroyed by.

Oh how she wished to be one of those people he was trying to return to, how she wished she was his Mikoto Misaka that he would return to. The one that would get to laugh with him and get to drag him on dates and maybe one day get to confess to. She hoped beyond hope, that at the very least, his Mikoto felt the same about him as she did. She couldn't bear the thought that the other her, his her, might not care about his smile as much as she did, because he needed someone to protect his own smile while he went about protecting everyone else's. She knew herself pretty well, she was certain any version of her could keep his smile safe for him.

The Will had shattered her illusions of this world she once loved, of herself. They were nothing but playthings, traps to destroy a good person without even knowing that was what they were. He'd known all along what they were, he must have, but he'd never once looked upon her as if he hated her for her unknowing role. He still truly saw in the Mikoto Misaka that was not his; a friend.

'They're lucky... those people you're going back too. They better know that! You idiot! When we all cease to exist... they better not take it for granted. I don't know how many worlds you've been through, or how many more will come, but... Damn, I hate this so much! Argh! Idiot, don't forget about us... Don't forget about any of us! I won't forgive you if you do!'

Mikoto Misaka wished she could of said that aloud to him, but she couldn't move at all. 'And you... If you can hear me, i'll never... I'll never forgive you, Othinus! Not ever! For taking away everyone's happiness, for destroying my lie of a world, for making everything he did for us meaningless. I'll never forgive you!'

She did not think anything after that, because the world flashed white and shattered... Along with everything that had made her who she was. She was part of just another phase that was shattered mercilessly and without care far easier than any illusion could ever be.

Just another in a long line of Mikoto Misaka's for a twisted deity to toy with all in the hopes of breaking one normal high-school boy that you could find anywhere.

Mikoto Misaka woke covered in sweat and crying. Her rapidly beating heart painful against her chest. Her knees curling into her as she gripped her legs with her arms. "W-what w-was that..." she gasped and panted, her voice ragged and breaking. The emotional feedback that lingered from such a vivid nightmare running rampant through her system. She was no stranger to vivid and unimaginably horrifying nightmares, especially in the weeks after the Level 6 Sisters incident, but this had scared her in a very different way. There'd been no mangled corpses, no deranged laughter and no oceans of blood that sickened her to the depths of her soul but she was scared nonetheless. Her head pounded with a strange residual electromagnetic field, one she'd have thought was an attack on her if it wasn't for her disoriented mind.

Whatever that nightmare was, it couldn't have been just a dream. She'd felt as if she'd lived an entire 2 months or so, the memories still with her if fuzzy and blurred. Dreams shouldn't be able to leave such complete timeframes, they often had moments missing that you didn't notice till you woke up, travelling from place to place in a dream was often times skipped, your sleeping mind simply suddenly being in the next location.

* * *

**Version 2**

There was only one person in all the world who could make kindness scary. Only one. Mikoto Misaka knew that first hand. She'd seen it after all, the terrifying kindness of a single person. A kindness so powerful it turned that person into a monster. A monster that looked human, a monster that had never taken a life, but a monster who was tainted by blood and darkness and evil nonetheless. Mikoto Misaka fell in love with the kindest monster in existence, the one who'd used that devastating kindness to save so many, many lives. Her own included. The lives of all her friends too, he'd even saved her mother.

And what Mikoto Misaka hated above almost all else? It was that this monsters only reward was to have more evil, more darkness and more blood piled on his shoulders as he saved people. A monster so kind that every life lost in the incidents he involved himself in he carried on his shoulders as his own personal sins. Every misled villain he turned away from the shade and dragged back towards the light, he took the evil from their own hearts and locked it away in his.

Mikoto Misaka, the third ranked level 5 of Academy City, hated that her kind monster was crushing himself more with every single step he took. She hated as he took hold of the sins of others and spread their weight across his own back in an effort to help.

She hated that he was once again lying on a hospital bed, uncountable bandaged wounds spiralling up his body. She hated how he had given her back her smile once but was then losing his day by day. But...

She couldn't have stopped him, even as much as she wanted to she wouldn't try either. This was him, after all. This was who he was.

Touma Kamijou, the kindest monster in existence. A power to nullify all that stood above nature with a touch, a power that skewed probability just by being there and a power buried deep beneath even those that was there to crush something, everything she sometimes feared.

She fell in love with a boy that wanted nobody to lose anything and gave up pieces of himself to save those that had. Pieces of himself that would lie within the darkness of their hearts and slowly heal them. Pieces he carved of his own flesh with his bare hand.

She was right that night on the bridge, that night that felt so long ago but really was only a year. No hero was going to appear to save her, to help her. Because though it was easy to mistake him as such, Touma Kamijou was no hero.

He was a twisted, broken monster who was kinder than everyone alive combined.

"You... you idiot..."

And he had been near death yet again, no matter Heaven Canceller's haunted eyes but jovial "who do you think I am?" When she asked if he'd be ok, it still tore holes in her being to see her beloved monster like this.

And... and she knew next week, next month, next year, the same cycle would continue. The same damn cycle over and over again. Someone would be in danger and someone would rise up and defend them.

She hadn't believed in it before, his shitty luck, but she did now. She knew he'd been fated for nothing but hardship day after day. That he'd lived his life like this since birth and would till the day he died. Because not even this could kill him, it was him after all. She was sure, nothing could keep him down.

Mikoto Misaka hated many things; her friends getting hurt, people taking advantage of others, her own stupid pride. The way he was treated as nothing by those who didn't know him and the way most of those he saved didn't see him for what he truly was. She hated that she'd been the cause of so much trouble for him but he was still her friend. She'd always tried to help him, but he had a habit of treading on her damn pride and angering her. She knew he didn't mean to, that rarely was it entirely his fault but it didn't help. Then there was her best friend, a girl who disliked and attacked that monstrous boy whenever she had the chance. Mikoto had never put her foot down, always caught in the throes of jealousy, embarrassment or anger. Always letting those uncalled for attacks commence.

Well no more!

She would change, she would finally help him. She'd stop Kuroko from belittling him behind his back, she'd stop his classmate that attacked him over stupid things that could be easily ignored, she'd stop holding him back and finally stand at his side. She was a level 5, she was a monster in her own right. Her shoulders, though slight compared to his, were strong and could help him carry that world that was on his back. She'd learn to control her easily damaged pride, she'd stop attacking him when he upset her. She'd be better, stronger and kinder. He'd be there to teach her, she could learn from the kindest monster alive.

When he wakes up, when...

"Idiot... please... let me help you... That's all I want"

Because he'd definitely wake up, wouldn't he? Heaven Canceller really had said those words to her, right? She hadn't imagined it! The cloth over his face was just bandages, it wasn't a sheet. Those people crying in the background were for someone else, definitely not for him! Never for him, he'd hate if people cried for his sake, so of course it couldn't be for him. He'd wake up soon, very soon, she was sure, so she wasn't going to move from his side. He'd saved her again after all, she had to be here to thank him. He'd pull that stupid smile and wave it off no doubt. The smile would make her flustered and she'd actually stop herself from shocking him this time. Surely it'd be fine if only he was allowed to see her blush?

Still, there was one more thing Mikoto Misaka hated, though she refused to allow conscious knowledge of it.

She hated that he'd gotten himself killed just to save her again. She hated that he'd bled to death in her frozen arms and had still been smiling because he'd protected her.

In the end, she hated that he'd finally collected on the debt so many owed him. That he'd chosen to take back her smile out of the entire worlds.

Touma Kamijou was the kindest monster she had ever known. Because only a monster would save so many without need of reward and then steal the smile of the one person on earth who loved him more than anyone ever could.

Kindness was cruel like that, because even the greatest deeds have a price and for the first time... For the first time Touma Kamijou's actions were paid for by someone else.

Mikoto Misaka, a young girl of barely 15 years, could only find solace in the fact that he was the only one she'd have given her smile to anyway.

"Just wake up... don't... d-don't be d-dead... please, just... please don't be dead anymore..."

It was a shame, then, that death is the only thing that was never an illusion.

More so, that Mikoto Misaka would forever be haunted by his blood soaking her hands.

* * *

**Version 3**

Saint George was an accomplished Magician and member of the 0th Parish known eventually as Necasarius. He was a great warrior, a kind man and a wise leader. History even states he was one of few men capable of slaying dragons, but that particular statement is at best a half truth. Magical beasts such as dragons could not be slain by mere mortal men, even those blessed by the divine stigmata's. Though he did indeed defeat many dragons, 8 to be exact. To do so, he tracked down the one force in gods creation that had existed even before god created the universe. A force said to maintain universal balance, a yardstick with which creation had been measured. The reference point God had placed, like faint pencil marks before the painting. Whether that was true or not mattered less than the fact it was most certainly capable of detaining the most powerful of magical creatures.

It took him many years to track it down, that great force had been in many vessels in it's time upon the earth. Eventually he tracked it to a small seemingly average urn. Throughout history that power had never been contained by anything extravagant, an average cave that one could find anywhere, to a urn of unimpressive design. The sorts of things that could blend in so easily as to be entirely insignificant to those who do not make contact with them, but to those who have then those items and places become remarkable and desired. Defying the fate that those items and places would've usually been to remain insignificant.

With that item in hand, that unassuming urn with the power to seal away and contain the might of Dragons, Saint George defeated them all. Forever to be locked away.

From new container to new container those dragons would be forced to follow until something that mighty saint could not have predicted. A strange mixing of powers that should've remained separate. A boy that could've been born to become a saint, that could've become what would be known as a Level 5, the power of the dragons and that great force that could destroy even the miracles of his lord God. It would become known as Imagine Breaker, that unimaginable force that stood beyond all others. It would erase the saintly Stigmata before it could take hold, it would destroy the AIM field that would gift that boy with powers beyond imagining, it would leave that boy as an anomaly to all creation. A being that would purify gods, exorcise devils and destroy illusions. Yet that very boy would be perhaps the most human human to exist. A container of so much power but so weak and fragile. Indeed, could it not be said that it was not coincidence to the name he was given? A boy born to a loving couple, the Kamijou's, and named Touma. With an alternative spelling that explained his existence; He who will purify God and exorcise the Devil.

So perhaps it was no surprise that boy went on to become someone who could remove sins from the hearts of the wicked and set them on the path of atonement. Perhaps it was no surprise that boy could lift the taint of darkness from the souls of innocents who stray from their light.

A boy considered by the ignorant to be cursed. A boy who so perfectly fit into the faction Saint George had created. A necessary evil to combat evil itself.

Saint George could never have known all this, but he would've been proud if he had. He'd helped forge a being so pure in its intentions that no amount of evil could taint it, so kind and understanding that no pain could sway him... A being so unimaginably powerful but so very weak and fragile that it could never be corrupted.

Touma Kamijou, the God of Plague, the Bringer of Misfortune, Imagine Breaker, the Unmarked Saint, the only Level 6, the Wolf That Guards the Lamb, the One Who Stood Against the World, the One That Protects the Fairy God. All those titles the boy would one day gain but there was only one name that would've caused Saint George to swell in pride at. Touma Kamijou, the totally average high schooler that one could find anywhere.

Saint George cared not for achievements or deeds, he cared about intentions. His unknowing legacy did not do what he would go on to do for anything other than selfishness, a truly human trait. However, it was in this selfish goal that his intentions shone brightest; to get everyone home with a smile on their face without anyone having lost anything.

Saint George had felt the very same, but he'd grown old and died, his dream destroyed by the desires of the corrupt he was not strong enough to cleanse. He would've looked upon the legacy he left with hope that Touma Kamijou may succeed where he had failed. Succeed and bring peace to the hearts of all he encountered.


End file.
